On Zero-Waste

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Recap: Drunk Pirate and Drunk Dude have unknowingly parted ways. Pirate’s found a new source for his grog while Drunk Dude’s accidently stepped into the time portal.

***

A swoosh accompanied the Drunk Dude’s arrival on the ship. He swayed precariously while a group of pirates stared at him and his strange clothing.

“Must be the new landlubber comin aboard” one of them said.

“What be ye doin’ here, ye scallywag? Go lend a hand to the lads settin’ the hempen halter!” *

Drunk Dude rubbed his eyes and shook his head, “Man that was some strong gin. I’m feelin a bit queasy…” he said to himself.

“Ye needn’t be losin’ yer stomach over it. Jus’ let go o’ the legs when they tell ye.” One of the pirates instructed.

“So I found the rest of the crew eh? I just beat ur captain back there. Btw did ya say hemp-halter? Didn’t know u could make a halter top with hemp. I have a hemp basket in my room.” Drunk Dude took in his surroundings then, unaware of the utter silence that followed his ramblings.

“Nice set,” he continued, taking in the ship and the morning sky. “Imma bit of an activist myself. What else you using hemp for?” he asked taking a seat on a barrel.

The pirates approached him with a rope noose. “Oh. That’s a lil morbid. You guys taking zero waste a lil too seriously, but I stan a small eco business with a niche.” He nodded wisely.

“Now bring in the booze my dudes!!”

The End

***

*Hempen Halter in pirate lingo means- A rope hanging noose.

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✨ And thats the end of the #BlogchatterA2Z Challenge. Wohoo! Those who were with me till now, thank you for your continued interest. It was so much fun writing this. I really wanted to write about these important topics and their current reality without boring anyone, maybe some of these became a little too niche for understanding but if nothing else I hope they made you laugh and maybe google whats up with these….

💃 You can go ahead and read all the posts in the series here. Make sure to leave a comment on the ones that you liked the best…Yep. Thats it! Thank you~~~

On Youth Development

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Recap: Time Travelling Drunk Pirate and Modern Drunk Dude were on their way back to their alley…

****

Drunk Pirate took in the slow stride of the drunk dude and commented, “Arr, matey, why ye staggerin’ like an old sea dog when ye still be young?”

Drunk Dude: My dude, its becz im young that I can take it slow. My people know what true treasure is.

Drunk Pirate’s eye glowed, “Me hearty, ye be knowin’ of a treasure and keepin’ it from yer old mate?”

Drunk Dude sighed in contentment, “Not like someone ur age would understand work life balance, creative expression, mental health, authenticity. Do ya?”

Drunk Pirate furrowed his brows in confusion. Not familiar with the strange sounding words, so he grabbed hold of the ones he could,

“Don’t be callin’ me old, matey! I could out-sail ye ten times over an’ break no sweat!”

Drunk Dude came to a stop,

“Spoken like a true boomer my dude. Okay. I’ll race U. First one back to the alley buys more booze. Got it? Ready set…go”

The Pirate could only watch in drunken disbelief as the drunk dude took off before he even had a chance to reply.

“These young’uns be all blaze and no compass.” Pirate muttered.

Just then, he spotted a man his own age slumped in the corner of a shop, sipping beer and humming to himself. Pirate looked down at his nearly empty bottle of rum and back at the man. He grinned and made his way to his new bottle.

Meanwhile, the Drunk Dude reached the end of their alley and leaned against the wall for support, panting heavily. Just as he touched the solid surface, his world spun away in a spiraling blitz of light…

TBC

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On Xenophobia

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Recap: Drunk Pirate and Drunk Dude just did their bit for the environment but the office worker was again, not impressed.

*

Drunk Dude lifted his hand to pat the office worker, but the man recoiled in disgust.

“I better not see you two here again.” he warned as he hurried away.

“Not see us here? He think we’re aliens or somethin’?!” Drunk Dude complained to the Drunk Pirate.

Drunk Pirate furrowed his brows, “what be that, matey?“

Drunk Dude waved his arms animatedly, “Like we’re monsters attackin peeps”

A glint sparked in the Drunk Pirate’s eye, “Ah, sea monsters! Me faced many a foe in me time, nasty creatures”

Drunk Dude’s jaw dropped, “How, my dude?”

Drunk Pirate leaned in, “Arr, ’tis simple, matey. Ye tempt ’em with grub, give ’em a pat on the back, then lay yer blow when they least expect it.”

Drunk Dude: That’s brutal, my dude. What if it had been you?

Drunk Pirate chuckled, “I be trustin’ only them who walk like me, talk like me, matey. No one’s ever fooled ol’ Captain me!”

Drunk Dude nodded thoughtfully then scrunched his eyebrows. “My dude, what bout me. Do I walk like you then?”

Drunk Pirate: Bucco! take a gulp o’ grog and ye’ll be dancin’ the pirate’s jig just like me!

TBC

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On Water Conservation

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Recap: Drunk Pirate and Drunk Dude’s noble gesture has been interrupted by a passing office worker…

As the Drunk Dude and Office Worker squared off, the Drunk Pirate abruptly abandoned his efforts to move the bridge and staggered toward a nearby shrubbery. A long moan of relief soon joined the background bickering of the drunk dude and office worker.

The Office Worker and Drunk Dude turned toward the pirate in disbelief.

“What the hell are you doing!? Stop piss-peeing on the plants!” the Office Worker screeched.

“Matey, I be holdin’ in for too long. This be a fine spot,” replied the Drunk Pirate.

The livid office worker began making his way to the pirate, but the Drunk Dude blocked his path.

“Hold on a sec, mate. Just look at the poor leaves,” he said, pointing to where the pirate was relieving himself.

“I don’t want to look at it!” the Office Worker snapped.

“Nah, come on. Look at how dry they are. At this point, he’s doing ’em a favor. Nobody’s caring for these little guys,” the Drunk Dude wisely nodded.

The Office Worker blinked incredulously.

The Drunk Pirate zipped up his pants and approached, holding a pamphlet.

“Me hearties, lay yer gaze upon this! Why be the seas needin’ savin’?”

Both the Office Worker and Drunk Dude peered at the paper to read “Save Water” in unison.

The Drunk Dude clapped the office worker on his back and grinned. “See that, my dude? We’re out here just doing our bit!”

TBC

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On Volunteerism

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Recap: Drunk Pirate is thinking about taking away a piece of the dismantled iron bridge…

***

As the inebriated Pirate struggled to lift the heavy iron pieces, he called out, “Heave ho, me hearties! Lend a hand!”

 Drunk Dude sighed tiredly but stepped forward. “Sure, guess I’ll do my bit for the community…”

As they both grunted and strained against the creaking metal, a passerby returning from work caught sight of them.

 “Oye. You bums. I’m going to call the cops” He warned.

Drunk Pirate and Drunk Dude turned as one to him.

Drunk Dude: Why my dude? We’re only helping them out

Drunk Pirate grinned and waved the man over. “Arr, just in time, lad! Join the merry crew and lend us yer strength!”

Office Worker scoffed, eyeing the duo critically. “You’ll be feeling real merry soon” He reached in his pocket for his phone.

Drunk Pirate: Bring in the revelry, I be awaitin’!

Drunk Dude checked out the office worker. “My dude, tell me what r they payin you for this”

Office Worker chuckled menacingly, “No pay. I volunteer”

Drunk Dude clutched his chest, gasping in horror.

TBC

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On Urban Living

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As the drunken duo continued to make their way to their alley, the pirate came to an abrupt stop. His eyes widening at the monstrosity above him.

Drunk Pirate: Avast, matey! Be I dreamin’? What be this eyesore?!

Drunk Dude followed the pirate’s gaze and frowned.

“Pretty sure that’s a bridge my dude” he squinted his eyes. “Or was one atleast…” he trailed, eyeing the dismantled metal structure.

Drunk Dude: Looks like its days are over too. Don’t be surprised if ya see a green patch with benches next time.

“Why be that, matey?” inquired the Drunk Pirate.

Drunk Dude rolled his eyes, “Fresh air. Cool winds. Blue skies. No cars. Take your pick, my dude.”

Drunk Pirate’s eye glinted with a knowing plan, “Don’t reckon they’ll mind if I swipe a piece o’ that iron, do ye?”

Drunk Dude: The hippies will love ya for it.

TBC

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On Trade Agreements

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As the Drunk Dude and Drunk Pirate trudged back to their familiar alley, they overheard a radio broadcast from an open shop. A haughty, sophisticated accented voice, rolling their tongue a bit more than necessary, began;

 “This just in listeners, there has been an oil spill in the Atlantic. At present the scope of the disaster is unclear but reports say…”

Drunk Dude: Aww man. Its oil again. Prices are going to shoot up now.

Drunk Pirate: Blimey! Where be that voice comin’ from? A lass?. I don’t see one.

Drunk Dude: That’s not important my dude. Did ya hear what I said? We gotta stock up on things fast.

Drunk Pirate: Avast, matey! I be havin’ plenty o’ spoils of me own.

Drunk Dude, blinked dazedly, “you’ve spilled too my dude? Where? And they let you off just like that? What were the coppers doing?”

A savage smile overtook the Drunk Pirate. “Ahoy, ye scallywag! Ye just share a bit o’ the spoils with the coppers an’ they let ye off. That’s how the world works.”

Drunk Dude: So that’s how it goes? They’ll do nothing but rest of the world will have to pay up?

Drunk Pirate: Arr, matey, ye be lookin’ a bit pale. I take care o’ me friends. Tell ye what. I’ll share a barrel o’ whale oil for a barrel o’ that grog. What say? We have an accord, matey?”

Drunk Dude’s eyes dropped to the ground “just whales? What bout the crabs tho?” he finished sadly.

Drunk Pirate flicked his nose thoughtfully, “I’ll add in me crabs if yer swear on yer blackened soul not to givin this grog to the other pirates. Savvy?”

TBC

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On Space

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Recap: Drunk Dude and Drunk Pirate just made a hasty exit from the old man and his bar.

Drunk Pirate: Avast, matey! What be this chatter ’bout space, is it our new grog?

“Space is space, my dude.” Drunk Dude raised his hands wide and looked up at the starry sky, “SPACE”

Drunk Pirate tipped his head up. “Ye mean to tell me, he be seekin’ the skies?”

Drunk Dude rustled in his jacket and produced a pilfered bottle of Gin. “Him to Musk to Bezos, every man, my dude.”

Drunk Pirate: Matey, have these scallywags conquered the oceans that they now set their sights on the heavens?

Drunk Dude: Who said you can’t multitask destruction?

TBC

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On Renewable Energy

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Recap: Time travelling Drunk Pirate and modern Drunk Dude have finally left the alley…

Drunk Pirate: Arrr, matey! Where be we headin’? I be missin’ our spot already!

Drunk Dude: Night’s still young, my dude. We need to ‘renew our energy’ as my pal likes to call it. and…I know just the place.

Drunk Pirate repeated the word to himself. “En-gy”

Drunk Dude led the way to a small seedy, run down bar.

As the overhead bell chimed marking their entrance, a big old man looked up with a scowl. “We’re closing. Come tomorrow.”

“Aw don’t be like that georgy, we’re here for somethin’ important.” Drunk Dude slurred.

“I know what you’re here for. Answer’s No.” Old man sighed.

Drunk Dude shook his finger at the old man, “no. no, hear us out.” he waived the Drunk pirate over.

“Arrr, matey, we be here fer the good stuff, ‘Renor engy’ be the name!.” Drunk Pirate grinned.

The old man cocked his head in confusion.

“Like that renewable energy stuff” Drunk Dude nodded his head.

Something invisible seemed to strike the old man then. His attention snapping to the interlopers. His complexion becoming ruddy.

“And now you spoofs too? Like I was telling the other fools before, Aint no such things as that. It’s all to mint money.”

Drunk Dude leaned on the counter. “Oh. We got no money…”

“That what I told the smartasses.” Old man began to wipe the counter aggressively. “People don’t have money to feed their families and they want us to get one of the battery cars!”

“Arrr, matey… ye bringin’ the good stuff?’ Pirate asked from his perch on the stool.

“Never!” Old man said. “They tryna make those cars look fancy and sleek, and everyone’s fooled. Not me. No sir. I need my space!”

“Okay old man. We got it. You have ur space..” Drunk Dude placated from his new position at the entrance of the bar.

“C’mon my dude. We got places to be.” He called over the Drunk Pirate who’d slumped in his seat.

TBC

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On Questions

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Recap: Time travelling Drunk Pirate is asking questions…

*****

Drunk Dude abruptly stood up.

Drunk Dude: My dude. This is getting dangerous.

Drunk Pirate: Arrr, what be that, matey?

Drunk Dude rolled his eyes, “I’ll explain in ur terms then: Don’t go questioning captain’s orders.”

Drunk Pirate stood up angrily, “Matey!, what yer saying? I be the cap’n of my own ship!”

Drunk Dude made his way to the exit of the alley. “Yea, yea. We all wanna believe that till you rock someone’s boat.”

Drunk Pirate’s eyes narrowed, “Arrr, be ye catchin’ wind o’ a mutiny, matey? Spill the beans, I say!”

Drunk Dude turned around and gestured over the pirate, “sure why not? Not here though, my dude. Walls have ears ya’know.“

Drunk Pirate patted the alley walls and said in surprise,

“Arrr, the walls o’ yer land be sturdy as well, matey!”

Drunk Dude shook his head despairingly,

“I know my dude. A lil too sturdy to stand up to.”

TBC

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